Guns n' Roses - Chinese Democracy
Release: November 23, 2008
Genre: Rock
Label: Geffen Records
Length: 71:18
Nick's Rating: 2.5/5
Oh, the pain, my flesh is burning. Listening to this album was so hard, and writing this review is even harder. The album's greatest success is only as a whole, and even that's not exactly on a musical level. Chinese Democracy is a nightmarish ride through an obsession with Nine Inch Nails finally being brought to the forefront, a trek through the marshes of mediocrity (it contributes three good songs, a few aveage ones, and some true shit to the GNR legacy), but most importantly, a look deep into the shallow depths of Axl's soul.
I don't really know why this is a GNR record. Why, because Dizzy Reed contributed "Silkworms," which didn't even make the album, anyway? It's just another of Axl's megalomaniac tendencies, showing that he was the band, when his whiny vocals tended not to suit a band who sang about bad neighbors, living poor, and Night Train. Meanwhile, Rose's needle-like vocalizations actually benefit this album in most of the places where they're audible. While I would probably have vomited if they completed the lead vocals of "Shackler's Revenge," he manages to pull out well enough on some of the ballads.
But first, we should look at some of the things that were NOT included -- should we be thankful? Actually, no. If a few of the more uninteresting songs (such as "Scraped," which I can't even remember now, and "There Was a Time") were cut for "Silkworms" and "Oh My God," the album would probably be a lot better off.
Speaking of better, I'm finally beginning to be okay with that song. At the time the album was first released until about a week ago, I hated it. The hook was limp and the lyrics were just another of Rose's wanky indictments of everyone who 'betrayed' him. Truth be told, the hook is poor, and the into is almost a complete dealbreaker, as is the middle section, but it's a pretty good song, because of its... uh, distorted to the point of cleanness (boy, that Axl Rose is nuts, ain't he?)... main riff, over which Axl explains his plight with an ex-wife or ex-girlfriend or something that I can be even less arsed to figure out than... most other things, actually. The fact is, the song sounds like several GNR songs, and I can't quite place which one/s off-hand, and that's probably why I actually grew to like it. It's still a pale shadow of those old songs (Axl, when oh when do we get another "Right Next Door to Hell?" Or another "Mr. Brownstone?"), and the nineties nostalgia consumes the entire song.
That's probably the big problem with this album -- the change in sound. There's nothing wrong with this, of course, but GNR cannot do this very well, not to mention that any time this sound is used, it already sounds like it's been done so much before that it cannot provide any sort of pleasure at all, and it devoids songs of any vitality, with few exceptions. For a good example, check out "I.R.S.," which wasn't necessarily a great song in the first place, but in older demos, the riff came to life and didn't sound like it was cheaply made on a computer. Now, as it stands, it's cute, but utterly worthless, and if earlier songs weren't proof that the skip button was the greatest thing to happen to the CD player since... the CD player... you'll be up and heading for the machine as the plastic-forged riff rears its lifeless head. I mean, I do like a few songs whose riffs could've been a rip-roarin' demon of a distortion-wall but got frozen into a fragile form, but there has to be a reason for this other than wanting to test out the latest technology from the early 1990s, about when Axl probably locked himself in his room to cry about how everything should change. Eventhing except the music, of course -- otherwise, why would Nine Inch Nails' Robin Finck or Josh Freese, who now is a member of Devo of all groups to have any association with Axl Rose, be needed at any point along the record's development?
There are only two reasons why you shouldn't turn this album off after the first three tracks, but neither is very great... they're just good. The first is in the form of
Of course, the two absolute best songs (to me) sit at the very start of the album. The title track, despite its completely unnecessary massive, cinematic, string-flooded opener, actually pulls out a nice opener and, unbelievably, acceptable, if generic vocals (probably because the actual lead seens to be handled by someone else with Axl in the back!) that actually allow the bitterness and anger (probably not directed at the People's Republic in the title, but at some other backstabber) that, combined with the fact that the song has something resembling drive, make it pretty much of a winner. Its pair, then, is the restrained, brooding, not... not necessarily creepy or even dark, but definitely making a good attempt at it... "Shackler's Revenge" boasts a lot of dynamic shifting that make it a startling and even disorienting listen, with the band aiming for a dark atmosphere and an almost honest account of a killer seeking to exterminate... another backstabber. Overall, very boring lyrically, but those dark vocals, and the weird-sounding solo section with the odd chorus in the background that sound like they want to be flamethrowers, while the bass remains invisible and the drums sound like plastic... it's very weird, which is a symptom the whole album suffers from, but it's actually shockingly good.
The album, though, brings up one very important point. Let's remind ourselves that the record took 15+ years to see release and has 14 tracks, of which two are great, three are modestly okay, and the other nine range from total shit to too unmemorable to be considered. I think, then, that we can make a simple test for a new album. If the ratio between years since last album and number of tracks on the album is 1 or greater, the album is probably not worth buying in whole. It's depressing; I like the 90s electronic-based rock 'scene,' which has given us great albums like Violator and Broken, but this half-assed tribute (musically speaking; lyrically... this album is oddly lacking on swears, so how close can it get to Reznorian dimensions, since Trent came up with that "I wanna fuck you like an animal" song. You know, "Closer"?) to that era leaves me damn cold in some places. The best parts, though, tend to resemble the songs of the style that GNR used to do so well before the hiatus. You know, back when Slash was in the band. Which just goes to show that this is a band that, even if they had only the one skill, had it in spades. Can we deny for even a minute that Appetite for Destruction and the Use Your Illusion saga were deserved gargantuans? Fuck no.
I should note, though, that I probably am a little bit bitter about having to buy this at fucking Best Buy, where I paid around $16 US for this CD new. I have always fucking hated Best Buy with every fiber of my existence, and this record's price versus its quality may have something to do with it. As well, I didn't get my free Dr. Pepper two years ago, but what can you do. I feel I was being conservative with this record's rating, but remember that 2.5 is basically a "just below average" on a scale of one to five. It's just extremely frustrating... and this record makes me want to take a fifteen-year nap before I post my next article.
Good lord, I am angry. I'll try to actually review something likable next time.
